My friends, they love my intelligence
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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