I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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