So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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