he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
