Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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