I smell stomach acid.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
