This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
