I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
