If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
