I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
