guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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