Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
