wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
