I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
