I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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