I must be too annoying 4 u.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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