It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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