i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
