Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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