drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
