my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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