if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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