it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I didn't notice because vodka
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
