there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
