Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
