sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
