$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
