im gay
i know
yea but for you.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Randomize
