i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
