I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
