I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
