it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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