We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I'm both gender and math confused
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
