I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
