Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
