Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
