Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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