Jerry, you need to find god
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
