I am spending my child support on dildos
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
