He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
