When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
