Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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