My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
