i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
