saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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