ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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