Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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