You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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