I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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