eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I want you more than these girls want KFC
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
