He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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